I'm almost famous!

I spent yesterday in Muskegon, visiting my mom. I get back home and while checking my e-mail, discovered I won an award! Now, I've been blogging for 2 years , and it takes writing a post about a penis to get me an award? Go figure.
But I believe an acceptance speech is in order......
First, I'd like to thank the academy, and everyone who voted for me. I love you all!
Then I'd like to thank my Mom. For with out her, I wouldn't be here.
And in a strong supporting role, I'd like to thank my Dad. For with out him, I probably wouldn't be here.
Then, I'd like to thank my sister Linda, who only 1 year older than me, helped me to understand differing points of view. Like my Mom constantly said..."will you two quit arguing?" And my sister's reply..."we're having a healthy discussion!"
And I'd like to thank Craig, who for the last 31 years has been a constant source of amazement and support.
He expanded my interests. When all I wanted to do on vacation, was to go to the big city and hit the hot dance bars, he dragged took me out west to see things like the Grand Canyon (lots of rock and dirt) and repeatedly did this for years.(he never liked me dancing with other people)
He shared his interest in sports and his love for the Michigan State Spartans. (why do they go all season getting your hopes up, just to have them dashed at the end?)
He expanded my waist line. (damn! he's a good cook! And who wants to dance with a fat boy!)
And I'd like to thank...........what?....My times up!.........That's it?.........my 5 seconds of fame is over?......But Miss America gets a whole year?......
Of course she gets a crown, and all I got was a lousy e-mail.
It figures,
I should have known a penis couldn't last that long....oh well, it was a fun ride while it lasted.