funny friday

And from my Florida friend Patti........

THE TOURIST

An American tourist goes on a trip to China. While in China, he is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time.
A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple bumps.
Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like it, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days.
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The man returns in a couple of days and the doctor says:

"I've got bad news for you. You've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it".

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The man looks a little perplexed and says:

"Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, doc".
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The doctor answers:

"I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis".
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The man screams in horror,

"Absolutely not! I want a second opinion".
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The doctor replies:

"Well, it's your choice. Go ahead if you want, but surgery is your only choice".

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The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims:

"Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vely lare disease".

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The guy says to the doctor:

"Yeah, yeah, I know, my American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis?"

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"What, cut you dick off "!!! The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs:
"Stupid Amelican docta, always want to opelate. Make more money, that way. No need to opelate!".

"Oh, Thank God!", the man replies.

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"Yes", says the Chinese doctor, "You no worry!
Wait two weeks, fall off by itself!
You save money!"

Have a great weekend!