Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
Bad decisions make good stories.
Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket,
hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey -
but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time...
Have a great weekend!