funny friday

And from my Florida friend Patti........

THE TOURIST

An American tourist goes on a trip to China. While in China, he is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time.
A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple bumps.
Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like it, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days.
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The man returns in a couple of days and the doctor says:

"I've got bad news for you. You've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it".

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The man looks a little perplexed and says:

"Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, doc".
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The doctor answers:

"I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis".
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The man screams in horror,

"Absolutely not! I want a second opinion".
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The doctor replies:

"Well, it's your choice. Go ahead if you want, but surgery is your only choice".

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The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims:

"Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vely lare disease".

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The guy says to the doctor:

"Yeah, yeah, I know, my American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis?"

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"What, cut you dick off "!!! The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs:
"Stupid Amelican docta, always want to opelate. Make more money, that way. No need to opelate!".

"Oh, Thank God!", the man replies.

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"Yes", says the Chinese doctor, "You no worry!
Wait two weeks, fall off by itself!
You save money!"

Have a great weekend!

It's begining to look a lot like Christmas!

The leaves have been late coming down this year. Probably due to our nice warm October. Then November has been wet and cold, with snow on Thanksgiving. So I was wondering if we'd get all the leaves up. But the snow finally melted and the temps stayed in the upper 30's
for a few days. So Craig did the final mowing.
(we don't rake, but have a mulching mower)
And I blew all the leaves off the deck
and outta the mo-ho storage area.
I also cleaned the eave troughs.
And it was barely enough time!
As Craig was finishing the mowing,
it started to snow.

And within an hour,
the ground was covered again.
But we got all the leaves up!
The long term forecast is calling for cold weather,
so we lucked out.
We also have the mo-ho parked for the winter.
We'll keep it plugged in with sonic
pest repelers to see if we can keep the mice out.
We also put in poison bait and spread moth balls in the engine area, all the basement storage, and around the tires.
Boy does that stuff stink!

We also decorated the inside for Christmas,
and cut down our tree.
A number of years ago,
I discovered a tiny evergreen tree
growing in one of my flower beds.
I potted it up and put it in my nursery.
After a couple of years,
we figured it was a spruce,
and planted it in the front side yard,
where it has become 6 ft. tall.
We decided it will not fit there as it gets larger,
so we decided it would be our Christmas tree this year!
Here's a pic with me and the tree.
Once I get it decorated,
I'll take pics of the house and yard.
And remember, click on the pics for a larger view!

Free Rice

I ran across this on my sister's blog.
It's called Free Rice.
Play and feed the hungry.
I checked it out on Snopes and it's legit.
You play a word matching game,
and for every right answer,
they donate 10 grains of rice.
And the game is quite addictive!
The site started October 7th.
with only 830 grains donated.
And as of yesterday.....
3,403,520,350!
You might ask, who pays for the rice?
On each page you play,
there are sponsor ads at the bottom.
They pay to advertise on the pages.
So the more pages you play,
the more money they make to buy the rice!
So click here and play!.....Free Rice
have a little fun......
learn some more words.....
and help feed the hungry!
What could be easier?

funny friday

A guy goes into a supermarket, and while walking down one aisle, a beautiful blonde at the end of the aisle waves at him and says, "Hello".
He's rather taken back, because he can't place where he knows her.
So he says "do you know me?"
To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my children."
Now he thinks back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I laid on the pool table, with all my buddies watching, while your partner whipped me?"
Trying to hold in a laugh, she said, "No, I'm your son's math teacher."

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And speaking of beautiful blondes............................................
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hehehe.....
And for those who have a long holiday weekend, (unlike me who has to work today and tomorrow)...
Have a great weekend!

Happy Thanksgiving

Yep! it snowed last night. The first snow of the season. It doesn't look like Thanksgiving to me!
Hope everyone has a great day!
I plan on watching football,
and getting stuffed!

fall weekend

Good morning all!

It is currently raining and 51 degrees as we head back to work. But we just work a day, and then get tomorrow off. Then work Friday and Saturday and get Sun, Mon, and Tuesday off. I could get use to that.

I went to Muskegon Sunday to see Mom. Took her out for lunch (Red Lobster), and then the club (the VFW) for refreshments and some pull tabs (did lousy). But the weather was good and it was good to see her.

Monday, did some more yard work. Still trying to get the gardens cleaned up for winter. We still have leaves on some trees, so will be another week or so before I can get the rest of the leaves up. The weather has been decent for this time of year. But they're talking snow for Thanksgiving.(yuck!) Below is a pic of three of my Japanese Maples. The closest one is a red Fern Leaf. The one to the far left is a red Bloodgood. And the middle one is a green Fernleaf. I love the colors they turn in fall

Tuesday was the nicest day, (hit 56) so we put up some Christmas lights in the front yard. Will get pics when I think about it. But we won't turn them on till after Thanksgiving. I already see houses with decorations on. Let's get thru one holiday before starting the next. The only reason we put lights up early is I'm not gonna freeze my fingers off putting up lights. And it can turn real cold real quick here in Michigan.

Hope everyone has a nice Thanksgiving!

menus

Since I've gotten several requests for the Meatloaf and Turkey Pie recipe. I thought I'd put them in a post.

We try to cook low fat, so these are the healthy versions.

Craig always modifies recipes.

Stuffed Meatloaf

1lb. extra lean ground beef

1lb Lean Hot Italian Turkey Sausage(casings removed)

dehydrated onion

3/4 cup grated zucchini

3/4 cup grated carrots

1-16oz can of pinto beans(drained and smashed)

2 eggs

large bottle of red wine(whatever you favorite is)

Topping,

I can tomato paste

1 cup spaghetti sauce

1 can sliced mushrooms

mix all ingredients in a bowl(except wine and topping), cover and refrigerate for 1 hour. Drink a glass of the wine.

In a separate bowl, mix 1 12oz pkg of Kraft free shredded cheddar cheese with enough Egg Beaters to moisten. Drink a glass of wine.

On waxed paper, sprayed with cooking spray, spread the meat mixture out to about 1 inch thick.

Spread cheese over the meat leaving 1 inch from edges.

Roll into a log and put in a casserole dish. Seal the ends by pinching the meat together.

Bake at 350 for an hour and. Have a glass or 2 of wine.

Remove from oven(Careful, it will be hot!)

Spread topping over the top, bake for an additional 20 minutes, or until done. Have another glass of wine.

Remove from oven(careful, still hot! use oven mitts!)

Enjoy with a glass of wine(if you have any left!)

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Creamy Turkey Pie

1lb ground turkey

1/2 cup chopped onion

3 oz package fat free cream cheese

1 can sliced mushrooms

1 pkg low fat refrigerated biscuits or bread

(the kind in a rolled can)

1 egg

1 cup fat-free cream-style cottage cheese

1/4 cup reduced fat Parmesan cheese

1 tbs flour

chopped tomatoes

chopped onions

4 oz. fat free shredded cheddar cheese

large bottle of white wine(any kind you like)

Brown turkey with salt and pepper,and saute onions. Drain. Have a glass of wine

Stir in cream cheese til combined, add mushrooms, set aside. Have a glass of wine.

In a lightly grease 9 inch pie plate, spread bread dough, pressing onto bottom and up the sides to about 1/2 inch over edges.

Spoon in turkey mixture, spreading evenly. Have a glass of wine.

In a bowl, combine egg(remove the shell), cottage cheese, parmesan cheese, and flour. mix till smooth.

spoon over turkey mixture.

Bake uncovered 25-30 min at 350. Have a glass or 2 of wine.

Remove from oven(careful, hot!). Let stand 10 min. Have a glass of wine.

Garnish with tomatoes and onions, and cheese.

Serve with wine(if you have any left!)

Enjoy!

This is the standard recipe. The one 2 posts back was a double recipe. So we used a casserole dish. We like leftovers!

funny friday

A wealthy hospital benefactor was being shown around the hospital.
During her tour she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating furiously.

"Oh my GOD!" screamed the woman. "That's disgraceful! Why is he doing that?"

The doctor who was leading the tour calmly explained,

"I'm very sorry that you were exposed to that, but this man has a serious condition where his testicles rapidly fill with semen, and if he doesn't do that at least five times a day, he'll be in extreme pain and his testicles could easily rupture."

"Oh, in that case, I guess it's okay," said the woman.
As they passed by the very next room, they saw a male patient laying in bed while a nurse performed oral sex on him.

Again, the woman screamed,

"Oh my GOD! How can THAT be justified?"

Again the doctor spoke very calmly: "Same illness, better health plan."

Have a great weekend!

Let's Eat!

For the most part, our weekend weather sucked!

Sunday and Monday was cold and dreary.
So what's a person to do in that kind of weather?
COOK and EAT!
So on Sunday,
Craig made a meatloaf.
And not just a simple meatloaf,
but a SUPER meatloaf!
Used Lean Ground Beef and Hot Italian Sausage.
Then added, shredded carrots
and shredded zucchini for added fiber and nutrients.
Craig spread the mixture on waxed paper,
and added a cheese filling.
Rolled it up and placed it in a casserole dish.
Baked at 350 for 1 1/4 hrs.
Topped it with a mushroom and tomato paste
glaze for the last 15 minutes,
and a delicious dinner!
YUMMY!












Then...........
on Monday......













Craig fixed an amazing
Turkey Pie!

Started out with lean ground turkey,
added onions,mushrooms

and cream cheese.
spooned it into a casserole dish
pre-lined with a dough crust.
Topped with cottage cheese,
Parmesan cheese, mixed with an egg.
Baked at 350 for an hour.

Then garnished with Green onions,
tomatoes, and shredded cheese, And another Tasty meal!
Now on Tuesday,
the weather turned great!
Mid 60's!
So , we mowed the leaves, (I don't rake!)
put away the temp deck, the gas grill,
and the deck furniture.

We're moving closer toward the long winter!

Here's a pic of fall in the back yard,
and 2 of my Japanese Maples.

Veterans Day

funny friday

For this edition of Funny Friday......a little redneck humor.....

A RECENT SURVEY WAS CONDUCTED TO DISCOVER WHY MEN GET OUT OF BED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.. HERE ARE THE SURVEY RESULTS:

5% SAID IT WAS TO GET A GLASS OF WATER

12% SAID IT WAS TO GO TO THE BATHROOM

83% SAID IT WAS TO GO HOME.


WHAT'S THE BEST FORM OF BIRTH CONTROL AFTER 50?

NUDITY.


WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A GIRLFRIEND AND A WIFE?

ABOUT 45 LBS.


WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BOYFRIEND AND A HUSBAND?

ABOUT 45 MINUTES


WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SOUTHERN ZOO AND A NORTHERN ZOO?

A SOUTHERN ZOO HAS A DESCRIPTION OF THE ANIMAL ON THE FRONT OF THE CAGE, ALONG WITH A RECIPE.


WHAT'S THE CUBAN NATIONAL ANTHEM?

ROW, ROW, ROW YOUR BOAT..........


WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A NORTHERN FAIRYTALE AND A SOUTHERN FAIRYTALE?

A NORTHERN FAIRYTALE BEGINS "ONCE UPON A TIME....."

AND A SOUTHERN FAIRYTALE BEGINS....."Y'ALL AIN'T GONNA BELIEVE THIS S#*T.


Now click on the pic and look real close at the tank top.........

Have a great weekend!

Dona Nobis Pacem

I'm joining other bloggers in the BlogBlast for Peace. Get your peace globe here.

Time for bed

Good morning everyone!
We finally put the motor home to bed, so to speak.
Since most parks are now closed for the season,
and the night time temps are going below freezing,
We winterized the mo-ho.
That involves draining the water out of
the tanks and lines,
and pumping in a special RV antifreeze,
to keep the water lines from freezing.
So here's a pic draining the water heater.
Once that's empty, there's a bypass valve
so antifreeze doesn't get in it.
Same with the fresh water tank.
They would be hard to flush all the antifreeze
out in the spring. It takes three gallons to do the job.
You have to make sure all the lines are filled,
and the traps also.



We then took out all the bedding, towels,
DVDs, food from the pantry,
and the dishwasher.
Here's a stock pic of the little
counter top dishwasher Craig talked
me into getting.
I didn't think we needed one,
but Craig wanted it.
And I must say,
I've enjoyed having it.

It's great to be able to do other

things while the dishes are washing.

It's pretty small,
only holds 4 place settings,
but plenty big enough for the two of us.
We have it on a shelf above the washer/dryer.

Then I cleaned the entire inside,
put in sonic pest repelers, and bait.
And we'll park it next to the garage
for the long Michigan winter.
Next up, some more flower pics from the fall garden.

funny friday

For this edition of Funny Friday.....A submitted resume for a computer position.
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Resimay To hoom it mae cunsern,
I waunt to apply for the computa job what I saw in the paper. I can Type real quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.
I think I am good on the phone and no I am a pepole person, Pepole really seam to respond to me well. Certain men and all the ladies.
Im lookin for a Jobb as a computa mann but it musent be to complicaited.
I no my spelling is not to good but find that I Offen can get a job thru my persinalety. My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth,
I can start imeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser.
hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.
Sinseerly,
BRYAN nikname Beefy
PS : Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pickture of me. .

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Employer's response:.....


Dear Beefy-I mean Bryan,
It's OK honey, we've got spell check. You're hired.


Have a great weekend!