funny friday

First, thanks for all the comments and e-mails. It does help to blow off some steam, and I know a lot of people have it worse. So on that note......

from David in New Orleans.......
our Funny Friday

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to possible contagious diseases.

Sincerely,

P. Niss


THE RESPONSE:

Dear Mr. Niss,

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are often unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed your assigned task.

And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.

Sincerely,

V. Gina

Have a great weekend!

Zetia$$$$$$$$

Okay now.....
Craig and I live together, work together, and eat the exact same stuff. So I go to the doctor last week, get a great report, and Craig goes yesterday, and his Cholesterol is way high.
So Craig is one of those people whose body makes too much Cholesterol. His whole family is on medication. But he tried a statin(Lipitor) and his liver enzymes went sky high. So now the doctor wants him to try Zetia. It's not suppose to bother the liver as much. But of course, there is no generic version available, so it's $100 a month! ouch! We pay a combined $784 a month for health insurance, and have no prescription coverage!
Checking on the Internet, I find we can get the generic version in Canada for $13 a month! What's wrong with this picture?
Of course, we won't get any one in congress to fix this health mess, they all get free health care for life after serving 5 years!
Again! What's wrong with this picture?
And we wonder why there are so many people with out health insurance. I wonder how much longer we'll be able to afford it the way the premiums go up every year!
Okay....I'm done ranting now...
And no...., I don't feel better.

look at all the snow!

Another weekend, and not a lot going on. Craig will be doing our taxes today, so that means I won't be on the puter. Craig needs mine for the taxes, because Turbo Tax does not work with his old computer. Whats up with that? He has Me running on his, and mine has Xp. I think Turbo Tax and Microsoft are partnering to make people buy new computers! So while he uses mine, I'll work on our 6th puzzle. Exciting life we have, right?
But we've booked the 8th of our possible 14 RV weekends! And our first is only just a little more than 6 weeks away!
Since not a lot is going on with us, I thought I'd share some real snow pics! These are from our camping friends in Wisconsin, Tom and Dean. They have way more snow than us! And they can keep it!

But the snow sure is pretty! Especially when it's not in your yard!

funny friday

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?"
"Of course my child. What may I do for you?"
"Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?"
The priest answered: "I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie."
"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"
"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare."
The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"
"I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused."
Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father. Next!!

Have a great weekend!

I'm gonna live!

Well, at least according to my physical! I made it another year. I aced my blood tests!!
Actually, I had the same results I've had for the last 3 years. All my blood tests were basically the same. The odd points are......
one part of my white blood cell count (neutrophils) is always just a touch low. My doctor feels it is because I never get sick,(no colds or flu or anything) and I have such a strong immune system.
And my sugar(glucose) is always just a touch high(101, where it should be below 99). He doesn't have a clue why.

My HDL is way high(79, when it is suppose to be between 30-60) but that is very good!
High HDL protects you from the bad cholesterol.

And my bad Cholesterol is normal(124, should be between 60 and 130). My Triglycerides are real low, and my ratio is excellent!
So even though my over all Cholesterol is 219, my doctor says don't worry.

And my liver enzymes are normal, which is a surprise considering how much I drink!
So, I'm good for another year!
Bring on the wings! And another cocktail!

more memory

Well, as usual, not a lot going on here in c-o-l-d Michigan.
We've had nearly 60 inches of snow so far this winter. W-a-y more than I care to see. Our normal snow fall for the entire winter is 34 inches. So it looks like we'll double that.


I also upgraded the memory in my laptop.
I bought it last spring. It has the
Vista operating system. When I bought it,
I went with a gig of memory,
instead of the basic 512mb of memory
that comes with the bare bones model.
I'm sure glad I did!
I don't know how any one could use Vista
with only 512mb of memory!
Vist is such a memory hog!
But anyway, I went to Best Buy to help a co-worker pick out a new desk top computer, and the salesman recomended at least 2 gigs of memory. And I told him I wished they would have said that when I bought my Laptop. He said I could add more memory, and I said I had thought about it. But the 1 gig memory sticks were about $100 each. He showed me that they were on sale! Instead of $100 each, they were $32 each! So I picked them up!
And too easy to install! And such an improvement in performance!
So I thought I'd sell the 2, 512mb memory sticks on E-bay. What a joke! For what they're selling them, I might as well give them away! Can any of my readers use them?
Also I'm taking my ring in to be fixed. One of the prongs is missing. and the stone wiggles. I'm lucky I didn't lose it!
Also tomorrow is my yearly physical. I'll get the results of my blood tests.
Let you know how I did.

funny friday

Some things I've often pondered.........



1. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?

2. IF A DEAF PERSON SWEARS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?

3. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?

4. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?

5. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?

6. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?

7. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?

8. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?

10. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?

11. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?

12. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?

13. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?

14. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE AN 'S' IN IT?

15. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED 'HEMORRHOIDS' INSTEAD OF 'ASSTEROIDS'?

16. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT THEM?

17. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?


Just some things I think about........

Have a great weekend!

still more art

This is the last of our "art" that I'm gonna make you look at.
First up is a group of stamps. When I was in my teens I got into stamp collecting. Had hundreds of them. At some point I tired of the expense and time, and sold the collection. But I decided to keep some as a reminder.

These aren't worth much. At least they weren't 30 some years ago!

Next is a replica of a Petroglyph we picked up on a trip to Colorado.

As you can see from these last 3 posts, we have an eclectic taste in "art". We try to find tings that remind us of our journeys.

This next pic is a double exposure photo we pick up at the East Lansing Art Fair.
We really liked all the colors and texture.

And last is a group of pics we took at Glacier National Park.

If you click on the pic, you'll see a glacier in the mountain in the middle pic. It was awesome!

And there you have it. Our eclectic collection of "art!

more art

To continue on from my last post, Here's more "art" we have on our walls.
First up, a sheet of real money we got on one of our many trips to Washington DC. Which by the way is our #1 favorite city! Followed by #2 Chicago, #3 San Francisco, #4 New Orleans, and #5 Portland, Oregon.

We got this at the Bureau of Engraving. They sell these sheets of uncut bills to us tourists. We thought it was neat and had it framed. You can buy a sheet of 8 or 16, or like ours, 32. Now we can say if we ever run low on cash, we can cut up this sheet for 32 bucks!

Next is a photo I took of Lake Powell, on one of our several trips to Utah.

I took it as the sun was rising behind the clouds. We had it blown up to a 20X24 size and framed with a ribbon glass mat. Look closely and you will see Monument Valley in the distance. We loved Utah and all the National Parks they have there.

Also at Lake Powell, there is a bridge that crosses a narrow section of the lake. The following 2 pics are of the road that leads to the bridge. Craig loves road trips! So we took each car he has owned out west and had a pic taked on the same stretch of road. The one on the right was his 1988 Ford Thunderbird. The left, his 1998 Honda Accord. Which he still owns.

And next is a set of framed masks. This was sent to me from my sister Linda, while she was in the Air Force, stationed in South Korea. They were issued in conjunction with the 1988 Olympic Games in Seoul, South Korea.

Well that's it for this post.
More to follow......

art

During this dreadfully l-o-n-g winter, (it's currently 5 degrees out), I'd like to share with you some of our "art work" we have on our walls.
Everything we have is something that has a meaning to it.
Which means, either it was from one of our many trips, or it is something that is personal.
First up is a collage of pics.

These are all dryed and pressed leaves from plants in our yard. They make a nice grouping above our couch, in our living room.
Next up, Is a hand carved mask...


We got in Hawaii, during one of our 2 trips there. About 3 ft tall and solid wood.
Scary looking, huh?

And next is our anniversary printed in the Mayan calendar.

We got this when we went to Cancun, Mexico. Took a day trip to Chichen Itsa
Loved it!

funny friday

A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor Comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the freeway.
You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but..... Something happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your 'willy' was chopped off in the wreck, and we were unable to find it."
The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "you've got $9000 in insurance compensation coming to you, and we have the technology now to build you a new 'willy' that will work as well as your old one did - better in fact!
But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's $1000 an inch."
The man perks up at this.
"So," the doctor says, "it's for you to decide how many inches you want.
But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five incher before, and you decide to go for a nine incher, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine incher before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time, she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision."
The man agrees to talk with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day.
"So," says the doctor, "have you spoken with your wife?"
"I have," says the man.
"And has she helped you in making the decision?"
"She has," says the man.
"And what is it?" asks the doctor.
"We're getting a new kitchen."

Have a great weekend!

just talk

A little up-date on what we've been doing. Which is really not much. Work has been steady. And our weekends for the most part are just plain lazy. We are not winter people. Don't like the cold.

So we pretty much stay inside if we can.

No winter trips.

Saving money for gas for the summer.

Remember, the mo-ho only gets about 8 mpg.

.

We are on our 3rd puzzle so far this winter.

Craig has been making some delicious meals.

He loves to cook!

I love to eat!

He's been reading some novel. I don't like to read.

So I play on the puter.

Between surfing and reading other blogs,

I've been playing Tropico.

It's a civilization building game.

Europa 1400 is another one I like.

.
.

We've also been tweaking our summer camping schedule.

We just added Brimley State Park

in Michigan's Upper Peninsula to our schedule. It will be the first time we will take

the motor home over the Mackinac Bridge! But Craig has gotten use to me driving it, and feels more comfortable with the idea.

.

Only 8 more days till blood tests!

4 weeks till Craig's Colonoscopy.

Getting older is sooo much fun!

Nachos.....yum

My last post said I was trying to eat better.




But that doesn't mean
eating only fruits and veggies.
One thing we like a lot is nachos!
And we have a delicious low fat
version I'd like to share with you.
First we start out with
Tostitos Light Tortilla Chips.
These are the ones made with ,Olean.



For the cheese, we use

Sargento Reduced Fat Mexican Cheese.

You can't use the fat free cheese,
it won't melt.




To season the beef,
we use Old El Paso
Taco Seasoning Mix.


We buy the less sodium.
Watching the blood pressure too!


For toppings,
we use chopped tomatoes,
and chopped green onions.
You can use any toppings you like.





Brown the ground beef.
We buy the Extra Lean 4% fat
ground beef.
Stir in the seasoning pack with water,
and simmer according to directions.


Spread a layer of chips on a pan.
We use a pizza pan.
Sprinkle the beef mixture
over the chips.



Add the toppings.

Looking good huh?

Click on the pics

to see them larger!




Sprinkle the cheese over that.

Put in over on broil

to melt the cheese

About 5 minutes,
Or untill cheese is melted,and chips are golden on edges.

Are you hungry yet?

ENJOY!

If you like, do what Craig does,
and top that with shredded lettuce,
Salsa, and fat free sour cream!

Now you can enjoy nachos with
half the calories,
and half the fat!

The Test

I have a big test coming up on Feb. 19.

It's my annual physical.

So blood being drawn on the 14th.

I've been "studying" real hard.

Been eating real good, and exercising.

I'm gonna ace this "test".

Isn't it funny how we'll adjust our habits

to fit the time?

I mean, after my physical,

I'll go back to the usuall way I eat.

Which isn't all bad,

but not the best.

Last year, I was doing real good,

and the night before my blood tests, we ordered pizza.

I can't belive one pizza could flood my body with so much Cholesterol!

My reading was 236! It's just not fair! So this year, I'm gonna ace this test! Only 2 more weeks of being "good"! Then, right after my "test", I'm gonna get Kentucky Fried Chicken! I'll deserve a treat, right?

I'll let you know how I do.

funny friday

Finally sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet.

After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and a huge, bearded man is standing there.

'Name's Lars, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a party Friday night. Thought you might like to come. About 5:00.'

'Great', says Tom, 'after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you.'

As Lars is leaving, he stops.
'Gotta warn you, be some drinkin'.'

'Not a problem,' says Tom. 'After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of 'em.'

Again, the big man starts to leave and stops.
'More 'n' likely gonna be some fightin' too.'

'Well, I get along with people, I'll be all right. I'll be there. Thanks again.'

'More'n likely be some wild sex, too,'

'Now that's really not a problem,' says Tom, warming to the idea. 'I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?'

'Don't much matter...... Just gonna be the two of us.'

Have a great weekend!